A professional wedding planner shares the seven most common regrets

A professional wedding planner has revealed the seven biggest regrets couples often experience during their wedding, including budgeting and overcrowded guest lists.

Elisabeth Kramer, from Portland, Oregon, started her career as a journalist, but in 2016 she was asked by a few friends to help coordinate their wedding and embarked on a completely new career path.

Elisabeth has been planning weddings professionally for many years and is the author of the bestselling book ‘Modern Etiquette Wedding Planner’ which she describes as ‘the essential planner to make your day special’.

She’s planned more than 50 weddings and revealed how to avoid the seven most common regrets she’s heard throughout her career.

Elisabeth Kramer, a professional wedding planner, revealed the seven biggest regrets she heard from newlyweds at their wedding (stock)

Elisabeth has planned over 50 weddings and shares her wedding tips on her website

Elisabeth has planned over 50 weddings and shares her wedding tips on her website

Budgeting: How to Get Rid of Credit Card Debt

Planning a wedding can be an expensive event, especially if a big couple’s day requires more than 10 different vendors, which Elisabeth says only works if “you have tens of thousands of dollars to spend.”

The best way to ‘avoid credit card debt’ is for partners to sit down with each other before they start planning their wedding and be ‘brutally honest’ about what they can or can’t. not afford to do.

By prioritizing what’s most important to each partner, couples can save hundreds or thousands of dollars.

Elisabeth also includes many money-saving tips on her website, such as hiring a friend to provide service on your big day who will act as your “friend or”, and contacting your “VIPs” who are your inner circle of family and friends who ‘may want to contribute financially to your marriage.’

Unused wedding favors: how to be mindful of what you buy

The Portland wedding planner said she often sent newlywed couples home with “a box of forgotten favors”.

She added, “It’s not that the favors were bad or the guests were ungrateful, but people often traveled and were drunk or just didn’t want another monogrammed koozie.”

While guests often forget simple wedding favors, they won’t forget your wedding experience, which is why Elisabeth recommends couples to “be careful what you buy, so it doesn’t end up discharge”.

Instead of spending money on wedding favors, wedding planners recommend couples invest in a photo booth instead, which will give guests the perfect item to take home to remember your wedding. and will be a fun experience for all.

The biggest regrets of newlyweds and how to avoid them

  • Overspending: Prioritize what’s important to you and your partner in a “brutally honest” conversation to “avoid credit card debt.”
  • Unused Wedding Favors: Be careful what you buy and avoid common party favors that guests often overlook and instead opt for a memorable experience like a photo booth.
  • Burnout: Try to avoid filling your plate with too many pre- or post-wedding activities to make sure you don’t overwhelm yourself.
  • Don’t overload your guest list: only invite people you’ve stayed in touch with over the past year and factor in the costs of inviting others.
  • Alone time: After the ceremony, take a moment or two for you and your partner to savor the fact that you just said “yes” without feeling like you have to rush to your guests.
  • Don’t go back to reality: after your wedding day, take a day to settle down and kiss.
  • Don’t let stress be the driving force: It’s easy to feel overwhelmed when planning a wedding, but try to keep in mind that you’ve “already won” by finding someone you love enough. to get married.

Burnout before and after the wedding day: how to avoid filling your plate

Elisabeth said one of newlyweds’ biggest regrets is “filling your days” with “wedding-related activities” before or after.

Although it is “tempting” to overbook a few days before or after your wedding, it is not always advisable.

Elisabeth said: “If you get energy from multiple social engagements, then do it. Otherwise, it’s OK to pace you. You don’t have to attend every event.

She also noted that brides are often called “bridesillas” not because they’re crazy but because they’re “overworked,” so avoid stress and don’t feel guilty about ditching every event before or after the wedding. wedding.

Don’t Invite People You Haven’t Talked to Lately: How to Avoid Overfilling Your Wedding Guest List

There are always a few people at a wedding that the couple felt obligated to invite and wished they weren’t there.

But the Oregon wedding planner says couples should ‘stop to review your guest list if you’re inviting five, 10 or even 15 people you haven’t spoken to in over a year “.

Elisabeth said to ask yourself these questions before adding this person to your guest list: “Are these people someone on your marriage council (financial contributors to your big day) wants to be there?” Can you celebrate with them in any other way, like having a meal together or planning a long phone call? »

While it can be hard to exclude people from your guest list, one way to look at it is through cost, consider that “each wedding guest costs an average of $70 to eat – and that’s before alcohol.

Alone Time: How to Focus on Your Partner, Not the Marriage

Couples often avoid stepping out of the crowd because they feel compelled to be there every moment and make sure their guests have a good time.

But Elisabeth said the truth is that guests “don’t care” if couples take a moment or two to sneak off.

She added that their guests will still have fun as they have “free food and booze available”.

Taking ‘five or 10 minutes’ to focus on your partner and ‘hang out’ after the ceremony can be hugely beneficial and will allow couples to ‘bask in those newlywed feelings’.

Elisabeth added: “Your guests will understand.

Don’t go back to reality: how to give yourself time to savor your new life

Although it’s not always feasible due to work schedules or other commitments, Elisabeth said it’s “nice to take at least a day off from the fun of marriage and real life.”

Whether couples are planning a honeymoon or opting for a staycation and settling into their new lives at home, they need to give each other “time and space” to embrace their “new identity” that they have created. saying “yes”.

Couples who gave each other even a day to slowly savor what it was like to be married seemed to have fewer regrets than those who came straight back to reality.

Don’t Let the Stress of Marriage Deprive You of What Matters: How to Find Peace in Your Partner

Planning a wedding can be a hugely stressful ordeal, especially when you’re trying to budget, make sure your guests enjoy their time, organize your decor, and focus on your significant other all at the same time.

It’s easy to get so overwhelmed by the planning process that couples forget “what really matters.”

Elisabeth said, “Try to focus on why you’re doing it in the first place.”

She added, “If you’ve found someone you love enough to marry, you’ve already won in wedding planning.”

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